i shall tell all

hey new name on lj it easy_wipe_out and if ya want to be on my fiends list there then just add me and ill be your mutual friend

everyone anonymously post a secret about yourself. then repost this on your lj.

eACH NIGHT I THINK OF THE DAYS WHEN I WAS OKAY. eACH night was a night that led back to me thinking of my friend. i say i didn't know that being seperated from Jasmine was going to hurt. Neither did i want it to happened. I thought through the night of how i laughed and how i cryed. i LOVED you jasmine there was no way around that. you are my confidant. i have told you things that i couldn't tell anyone else, I came out to you in a park and told you stories of my first real love. You took things, because i gave them to you. I willingly gave you my heart. Though unknowingly i was changing. i WAS CHANGING INTO THE PERSON I DIDN'T WANT TO BE. i was becoming superficial becasue the Alex that was kind wasn't getting far in life. I strived for friends that understood me. You ARE right no one will ever be my best friend like you were. I will never be able to come out to someone who generally cares. i sit thinking and it all comes back. i cry to this day and i write in my journal at home about you. Each one of my friends is related to you. I attempt to find that one friends who can embody. When the prom situation arouse i wasn't that i didn't want to take you to prom. I was under my own gesture that if you hadn't asked me to go to prom it was because you didn't want to go. Nothing would have made me happier than to take you to the prom. I had intentions on bring my best friend to a highlight of my high school experience. I cried the day i found out that you wanted to go. I went from crying to being numb to everything. Though the new alex was superfical he was also hollow. Through the months i have dated and i have thought many a night just to call you after i had a fling to tell you. I have constently picked up the phone and dialed you number and then hung up after the first ring. Jasmine what i want to say is i miss the fact. You say you hate the man i have become. And trust me i hate the man i am

At work i see you and i have urges to talk to you but i fight them because i fear. I fear that just by talking to you i will just push myself farther from you. The farther i push myself from you the more i feel i will lose even the thought of rekindling our friendship. I think and think of how everyone like you say love me and then i cry. The don;t love me Jasmine they love the shell of a person i have become. The gay prodigy. Work i became a CDH and thought for sure all hope was lost. I PLACED YOU IN HBC in hopes that i could give you a promotion. I wanted to place you in the same level as me. I wanted yo to see me as a friend and to show you that i am a real human once again. Now Jasmine i hope this will reach you and i hope i you will forgive me. I truly love you jasmine and never will a friend amount to me the smae as you still do.

Alexo Is No Longer

Current Location: Roberts Computer Room
Current Mood: distressed

Well summer will soon be here right before our eyes, i'm loving this year wit all the new friends and all the excitement. I really feel like i am making a name for myself. I always thought that i would be the one in the crowd that would stand alone. I love the friends i have made and could not imagine the year without them.

And BESIDES Caitlin Mahoney should have won!!!!

Current Location: Computer Lab w/ Macneil Again
Current Mood: content
Current Music: Ain't No Other Man

Life is totally gone. I try to keep friends and all that happens is that i get skrewed with shit. Well this year has changed everything Jasmine has dropped me completely as a friend. Out of the blue. I now work at stop and shop, i have a feeling that because of the job is the reason why she stopped talking to me. At stop and shop i have made more friends, i have gotten closer to Samantha w. (Hey babycakes i know you are the only one that will be reading this). So i also have gone to my junior prom with a friend of mine from work named Bea. So this year i think that i have totally done a one eighty and i have dropped sasha and all that gang and taken on a new group. They consist of Jessica, Jaclyn, Brittany, and Courtney. They have given me much love but to tell you the truth i think the only one that actually considers me a friend is Brittany. When i talk to any of the others they tend to throw me to the side and i don't appreciate it. I hATE HAVING THIS f^cking visage of being happy when deep down inside. I hate having to lie to my mother about who i really am and have a life outside of the real world. Making my mother believe that i have never loved and that i will never be in love in her eyes. I truly believe that the only way to escape all this is by moving away for college, yet my only fear of that is that i would not make it and end up like a bum in the streets. Some much in life worries me and no one can see that i am really hurting. The only friend that has actually cared to talk to me and make times to have fun with me. I LOVE YEA jaimee

Current Location: School, Stupid Macneil's Class
Current Mood: discontent
Current Music: gASOLINA

Awwwwwww today is going to be hell i have school and then work and then more homework thank godd vaca is right around the corner. Cause i have no energy left in my entire body

Current Mood: drained
Current Music: Holiday From Real- Jack's Mannequin

Ths was one fun week on friday it was a snow day and that meant no school. On saturday i went shopping with Jaclyn, Jessabell, and liana. We started off in Harvard square and ended up getting Jaclyn's BF,James, at his house in Dorchester. We then went to go have some chinesse food in chinatown. We met a little chinesse boy named Philip. After that me and Jessabell and we talked about who was gay at PJ. On sunday went shopping with my mama dukes.

Current Mood: good
Current Music: Last Christmas- George Michael

shhhhhhhh want to know a secret i skipped school today and i went to go this is kid named Jake it was pretty funny and to think it wasn't even that hard to leave PJ and them not even noticing me being gone. We i met up with him at Haymarket and we walked around Fanuil Hall for like an hour. He was so cutehe has the nicest green eyes and it made me shake when i met him. Well i don't know if it would work out between the both of us first of all he goes to Arlington Catholic and to top it all off i forgot to give him my phone number. Thisi s not a good sign for me, we i guess if it doesn't work out then at least i got to meet and kiss him


Yeah Brokeback Mountain on Friday

Jasmine is scheduled to go with my fine ass and thinking about inviting Danny and Wendy hell lets bring the whole damn gang

Current Mood: jubilant

Well i am on my way to a party in the pants fo the world CHS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fRIGGIN A

Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: Dark Blue- Jack's Mannequin

Ok an update i have just found out last night that my mom wants to take me out of Pope John and put me in either Savio or Malden Catholic, i spent all last night crying and thinking how i was going to convince her out of it. She had a little talk with the Academic Principal and then she flipped out on her. When she told me that night that she was going to transfer me i started crying thinking that i would be leaving all my friends.

Current Mood: depressed

Jacquelyns competition today and i am dead tired

i SAW aSHLEY sMITH again AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Current Mood: cold

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA britts party was the best and to say the least i ruled that dance floor

Current Mood: chipper

yeha mall today with Jaimee and Michiala then tomorrow we are off for Brittany's sex parties

Current Mood: rejuvenated

Happy Halloween!!!!! Yea i WORE an awesome afro today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Current Mood: giddy
Current Music: Thriller- Michael Jackson

Yeah going to the mall with Jaimee and then going with my mom to buy a halloween costume !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am so fundmentally gay

Current Mood: bouncy

Yeah I got me some contacts

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: Lovers Can Be Choosers

well i have written to you in a while and i have to say that it is all because i need a fucking computer that actually has the capablity to let me go online. We i went to the Franz Ferdinand Concert and invented a new dance called the typewriter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: Coin Operated Boy- Bresdon Dolls

Well i went to the concert yesterday at the Tsongas arena and i went with Mekala and Megan and Margie. It was so much fun we listened to music had a fun trip getting there and to top it all off i got pissed on. Yep a guy right behind me whipped out his dick and pissed all over me. I Called Jasmine from the concert and called her a bitch i don't know why but it felt good that i did so i guess that is why i did it. I am a changed man and to tell you the truth Jasmine you can afford to have a guy for once in your life

Well today is once again a very exciting day in my life, last night I wrote the proposal for the Diversity Club. Jessica and I are getting really excited about the fact that they are actually letting us do it. I just got my class ring I think is hotter than the devils ass crack.

Ohh yeah I just bought the best movie ever its called Crash and I want to worship the DVD Player it plays in

Current Mood: mellow